Sometimes , we feel just left behind, forgotten,
or set aside. That awful feeling when someone made you realize how unworthy you
are in their story even though you gave your all. In the end, you’re just a
lame extra in the movie. I'm telling you, it’s always been an issue between me and
myself.
I can describe myself in a quote “Your bestest friends, and
your worst enemy”. But let’s just focus on the firs phrase.
I’m this kind of person who gives my all when it comes to
dealing with other people. I’m not an FC
(feeling close) ,rather, I value that person so much that I can’t afford to
give him/her an effortless treatment. I
mean, maybe I value friendship more than other people do. I don’t know, maybe
because I’m single, and friendship is the only thing
that I can call MINE that’s why I really pay my 100% attention and
effort to the person. Maybe I just can’t afford to lose them because they’re
the only thing I have.
But here comes the sad part. Why do I always feel awful in
return? I think it’s unfair. I don’t know. I know it’s
bad to think that way. But as I sort things out, I just ended up as the one
being left behind. That “hey, I gave much effort to make your life a good one,
then what now?” The feeling keeps on bothering me. I just feel useless.
UNDERVALUED. They were just saying “who cares if you exist or not” in my face.
Why do I feel this way?
